gyno horrorshow

Hey, look. I’m quoted in Women’s Heath Magazine!

Some other fun things that are cervix adjacent:

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Currently Reading: “No One Belongs Here Than You.” Stories by Miranda July

To fall for a million years like a flute falls, musically, played by the air it is passing through. And to land with no mind, but with a heart that was breaking.

Making Love in 2003

For how long can you behold another person? Before you have to think of yourself again, like dipping the brush back in for more ink.

Ten True Things

 Friday night was date night, named for the date Sarah and Tom would go on while Lyon slept over at my house. But because they usually stayed home and fought, and Lyon and I more often went to dinner and saw a movie, date night became our code for Night of Endless Fun. Don’t underestimate how much joy an eight-year-old and an almost-forty-year-old can bring each other. We usually began at Miso Happy, our favorite Japanese place. We thought the name was terrible, but we liked the noodles. We talked about everything, including but not limited to: My gray hairs, should I dye them? Could I dye them individually? Could I pay a mouse with a tiny paintbrush to jump on my head and dye them one by one? And why did Tom and Sarah have to fight so much? Was it Lyon’s fault? No, absolutely not. Could she stop them from fighting? Again, no. Also: would they buy her a twenty-four-color pen set, and, if they did, how jealous would best friend Claire be when Lyon brought it to school? Our guess was very. And why had Deb’s last boyfriend dumped her?

I dumped him.

 Maybe you didn’t French-kiss him enough.

I promise you that wasn’t it.

Tell me how many times a day you kissed, and I’ll say if it was enough.

Four hundred.

Not enough.

How to Tell Stories to Children